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Revisiting the Tragedy of Jennifer Dulos


And 3 Other Women Who Were Subject to Similar Circumstances But Who Escaped Murder

As many know, Jennifer Dulos was murdered by her husband in 2019 after a protracted custody litigation fought in the Connecticut courts. Her name became associated with the concept of coercive control, which is a valuable and important idea.

However, the issue of coercive control as it relates to violence against women is a distraction from much more important issues related to society’s care for dependent individuals.

The stark truth is that those who are charged with providing help and protection all too often do so—if they do it at all—with a hidden resentment and sneering contempt.

Other women have been faced with similar threats: the threat of children being removed by the courts into the hands of abusers, wealthy men and powerful, whom these women feared. Some of these wealthy, powerful men had become wealthy and powerful because of the resources of their wives, their professions and their business acumen. Each of these women was a powerful and loved individual on her own, a good mother, smart, and concerned about her public image. But these men’s ability to charm the public and wield their partner’s resources helped them to become dominant.

The issues that the women suffered were borne over years of silence and secrecy. When they did go to the police, each of them was dismissed. The triumvirate of judges, male and female, followed the money instead of the law.

An additional tragedy of the Jennifer Dulos case is that police and courts still have to be wrestled to the ground to get their attention to take notice of the severe danger that each of them were in.

One woman asserted to the police that she felt that her husband was digging a grave for her body on their property. When she finally was able to wake them from their indolence, they indeed found a shallowly dug area on the property that was spread with lime. The complaint was taken relatively seriously, and she was able to leave Connecticut and seek undercover protection.

Other women who have come to us have been rescued and gone quietly with their children to disappear from the shores of Connecticut forever and to lead better lives.

With another client, multiple dimensions of her case were skillfully handled by the Foundation for Child Victims of the Family Courts after she had endured years of humiliation and contempt by those who in fact had the power to do what needed to be done to protect her and her children.

Other women in this immediate period related to the Grossman-Axlerod courts have not been so lucky and in fact were murdered, even in some cases along with their children. After a moment of “Oh how terrible,” there was no further attention.

An often-unnoticed tragedy of the Jennifer Dulos case is that the issues around her case were able to serve as a distraction from the most important issues.

These most important issues relate to judicial corruption, lies, larceny, and sadistic psychopathy regarding the nature and character of the judges involved in handling these cases.

These judges have facilitated the dropping of protective orders and the enforcement of unsupervised visitation with the abuser.

It wasn’t that there was no funding for legal talent or psychiatric talent. All of the money and all of the professional skill were available, as was the knowledge of multiple crimes of interpersonal violence and very serious ongoing physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.

This was not about coercive control. This was about overt behavior well known to the families as well as to the community, the children’s schools and school personnel, the children’s friends, and the parents’ friends. They were all very well aware of exactly what the children were experiencing and fearing.

The brood of three male psychiatrists on one particular case, with impressive degrees and high-powered presence in the community, took absolutely no steps at any time to come forward to write reports and to state what they knew, even though when confronted by experts from the FCVFC they stated that they knew nothing. We know that to be false. We know from this highly credible sources professionally involved in the case, within the nexus of forensic work on the case.

Jennifer Dulos’s disappearance could have been written off as she left town, went on vacation, went away, and eventually the community would have thought nothing further of it, despite the whispers. No serious attention would have been paid, and the perpetrators of crimes would have been off to their trysts in far countries, leaving the despicable mess behind. But the Foundation for Child Victims of the Family Courts did not allow that to happen. The case was investigated and the culpable parties were exposed.

However, in the Jennifer Dulos case, what looked like a triumph has actually become a disgrace to the hope for integrity in the court system. They have unfurled the flag of coercive control into legislation and lectures and more frivolous conversation. The concept of coercive control becomes a banner of distraction that can continue to litter the airways with more useless meaningless worthless legislation which can continue to be ignored.

Meanwhile, the truly responsible agents of criminal action continue to evade attention and responsibility. The henchmen of the apocalypse who are well known in Connecticut are free to destroy lives. As Jennifer Dulos wasn’t helped, many other victims named and unnamed have been unhelped.

Yet the conscience of some court minions and bureaucrats can feel soothed by this intellectual distraction. This is a “meaningful moment” that has not moved the scales of justice.

It cries shame, shame, shame.




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